a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
