addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
