One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
