I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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