it wasn't lemon gatorade
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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