And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize