i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize