yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
