Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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