Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
