In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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