I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
