Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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