ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
that's an acceptable place to lick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
