i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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