You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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