I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
