IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
