Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
