I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize