He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
