I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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