Pregnant stripper...not hot.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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