Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
