I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
