I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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