no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
