I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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