Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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