One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
