Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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