She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize