Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
