I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I want to make a zoo with you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
