i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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