dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
