The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
