My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
