OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
