I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Barsexuality is the new black.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
