white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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