I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
