You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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