Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can you bring me the toilet please
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we're so committed to being not committed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
