If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
