Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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