when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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