It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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