she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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