and i looked up. we had an audience...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
