Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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