I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize