Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
