:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize