where am i from again
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
