operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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