Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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