Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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