I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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