just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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