id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
