guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How naked do you want me to be?
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