i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
