i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Drunk is not a location!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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