I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
