Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize