lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize