Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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