just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
