Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
