Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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