This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
