We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
