enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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