I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
