carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
