For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
