hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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