My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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