She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize