first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
