butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
