I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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